Types of parenting?

The first type is Authoritarian, which believes in blind obedience and in restricting the children’s autonomy, values. Here the traditional structure is considered as an end in itself and parents are the complete dictators of the children’s lives. This style was predominant before1960’s.

The second type is permissive type where parents behave in an acceptant manner towards the child’s impulses and the child is given as much freedom as he can enjoy. The child here leads a life without any restrictions. This style became popular in 1960’s and its still in vogue in American families.

The third type is the Authoritative or the democratic type where parents attempt to direct the child’s activities in a rational, issue-oriented manner. Here both self-will of the child as well as discipline is important. The parents when necessary use power but the child’s independence is also valued. For complete and normal development of the child parent uses reason, power, re-enforcement and meaningful rewards for acceptable behavior.

According to Baumrind to be called authoritative the parent should value self-assertion, willfulness and independence in the child. It would help the child to eventually become free from the parental control. Discipline should be firm and respective of the child’s actual abilities and capabilities. In course of time the child becomes able to share his/her parents’ responsibilities as there grows within him competence and ability of independent action. But whatever our style may be, parents are always responsible for the child’s personality development and must face the consequences that arrives in the child as a result of parenting as he/she grows up. But the children also play a significant role here.

To determine one’s parenting style one should ask himself/herself a few questions. For example the location of the controlling power, both share whether it’s the child or the parents or that it. Other questions that can be asked are if the child behaves appropriately according to his age; whether the child respects other person’s rights and responsibilities; or that if he can take responsibilities, which require some leadership qualities. Last of all the parents should ask themselves whether their children’s behavior is proper in respect of both home as well as community. It is seen that parents often do not use one single style rather lean toward one philosophy more. But whatever style they adopt, it must be in tune with the child’s personality because children are different in themselves and they require different treatment altogether.