What method to follow in case of co-parenting?

Even in case of co-parenting it is a must to put the children first. In today’s world divorce is a common phenomenon and during divorce it is the children who suffer most and therefore we see that in many cases, the divorced parents intentionally create a parenting plan. What is significant about this plan is that it puts the needs of the children ahead of the needs of the parents and as a result in many instances we see the parents put the need of children beyond whatever the court has ordered. As a consequence of this co-parenting plan the parents sit down together and purposefully plan how they will parent their children and thus devise specific strategies for the welfare of children. There are many issues that are taken case of co-parenting and this includes issues like visitation and holidays as well as a co-parenting plan that includes several rules for dealing with issues. A basic funda followed in the plan is that the child is never put in the middle, between the parents and hence for the success of this plan it is a must that the parents must communicate directly though it might often be uncomfortable for them after the divorce; thus this plan ensures that the parents talk frequent so that both know what is going on with the child as well as in both families. At the same time it should be ensured that both the parents should endeavor that the child's relationship with each parent is supported and encouraged. A significant point to be noted in this instance is that the parents do not try to one-up each other or curry favor with the child and also at the same time they don't demean ir criticize each other, however sour the relationship might be. At the same time these parents should ensure that they don't allow the children to criticize the other parent. It is a must for the well being of the child that the divorced parents should draw a co-parenting agreement and in that it should be clearly stated that both parents will respect the child's relationship with the other parent. At the same time the parents should be mutually respectful to each other and should ensure that any war between the parents stay between the parents. Whatever the circumstances may be these are not discussed in front of the children.

The rules of the household even after the divorce should be retained and as a part of the co-parenting agreement boundaries and rules are agreed upon and enforced in both households. Often a house has several rules that pertain to various child activities like bedtimes, TV limits, when friends can stay over and others. The agreement between the parents should ensure that the rules that were in force when the family lived in one household have to be renegotiated and reinforced and there should be effort from both the parents to maintain it as maintaining them or keeping them consistent in both households gives the children more stability and security.

It is a must for both parents to discuss any discipline issues as given the new situations and circumstances children will push the limits of this new situation. Most children will be aggrieved; they will be rebellious and will try to play the parents off against each other and they will act out. Post divorce the parents will be bitter and despite that in order to control child behavior they must communicate frequently about any behavior issues the child has. At the same time it is a must for all divorced parents to agree on appropriate discipline and both parents must enforce the discipline as it is only by this form of co-parenting one can allow the children in a divorce to remain children and not become monsters. Such a co-parenting agreement also at the same time minimizes the disruption the children experience. Like parents after the divorce even children are traumatized and such an agreement allows them to heal from the divorce more quickly and at the same time it also establishes and enforces healthy boundaries besides ensuring consistent rules and discipline. Often such a method is tough for parents, especially when they are going through the trauma of divorce and it costs the parents emotionally because they must set their differences aside in order to put the needs of their children first. Apart from that the method is a bit hectic; nonetheless it is useful when the parents divorce, co-parenting assures the best possible outcome for their children.

During divorce it is a must for courts to mandate a Co Parenting Class and in fact it has become a policy in recent years for the courts to compel parents to participate in a co parenting class as it ensures healthy upbringing of their children. However there are mixed opinion about this co-parenting class and while some see this as a positive thing as the end result is that the parent or parents will develop enhanced parenting skills there are many others who feel that the courts overstep their authority. They feel that it is not right for the court to compel individuals to attending a co parenting class and infringe on their freedoms. In fact there have been several instances when the Court Ordered Attendance and made it mandatory for an individual or individuals to attend a co parenting class. A few examples of these instances include after a divorce or annulment of marriage, a separation, a custody dispute. The establishment of visitation rights and/or an appeal of custody or visitation are the other instances where the court has ordered for attendance and a co-parenting clause be drawn. Nonetheless for many parents it still remains a question as while the precursors that compel someone to attend a co parenting class is detailed, the question remains why do the courts make this compellation and what seems to be the motivation behind the compellation. However it cannot be denied that such classes are useful and like any type of course, a co parenting class is designed to empower the individual taking the class with a series of skills that will increase their performance. In other words this class is designed to provide the foundation for a person to become a better parent and despite divorce discharge their duties better. This the classes do by providing a curriculum that aids in the development of the areas that make a parent a better parent. These include several areas like the empathy, anger control, behavior therapy, and role model development. These are a few of the components that are worked on in these types of classes.

The major question that often arises is that does the court have the legal right to compel an individual to attend a co parenting class? The short answer to that question is yes and it can be said with guarantee that it is within the legal rights of the court to lay down such a mandate. Whether or not the courts have the moral right to compel an individual to attend a co parenting class is a question that depends on an individuals definition of what is moral. Nonetheless despite all these disputes it should be kept in mind that attending a co parenting class is designed with the best interests of the children in mind and thus it can be said that, popular support is behind the courts in this regard.

At the end it can be said that the courts are justified because they have a motive in arranging these classes. Divorce is a traumatic experience and in the long run it has a very negative influence on children and therefore it is a must that the parents take special initiative to ensure that the children are not affected by the trauma.

Parenting is a great responsibility and a parent should be alert at all stages; as a toddler he or she should care for the children while for the preschoolers the parents are expected to make important decisions about education. Similarly when children are in school age children there are many issues that are parent must take care of and these include issues that require emotional toughness. At the same time during adolescent it is a must for the parents to ensure that the children do not hamper their mental progress in a time when they are just beginning to form their identity. In several cases we see that the adolescents look to peers and adults outside of the family for guidance bit nonetheless it can be said that the role of parents is important and they should take care of adolescents activities and at the same time provide guidance, direction, and consultation. In the long run it can be concluded that parenting is a lifelong activity that requires much patience and temperament to adjust.